Singers for Funerals

_A recent cremation service highlighted an interesting question: should you have religious music at a non-religious funeral service?

For weddings, it's clear-cut; a civil service should not include music that refers to God or faith. However, for funerals, there are no such rules.

Which we actually consider a Rather Good Thing. A wedding is about the couple's future, and if that lies along a non-religious route, so be it. A funeral is a celebration of a life departed by and for those who knew and loved them, a group of people that usually encompasses a wide range of beliefs.

The ceremony I sang at was officiated by a celebrant, and opened with the Barber Agnus Dei (Adagio for Strings). My solo was the Lloyd Webber "Pie Jesu", and the service included the Lord's Prayer.

And it worked perfectly, blending the deceased's love of music with the less formal  words of a celebrant-led service, and still containing the crucial element of a dignified celebration of a life well lived.

So, the recent discussion of whether a Bath crematorium should remove the cross from their window is, to our mind, missing the point entirely. We are an inclusive society and a Christian country, and if we were to remove a symbol of the latter, we wouldn't truly be the former. Inclusivity is not achieved by excluding.

_At a funeral service last week, we were reminded of the generation gaps between those brought up singing traditional hymns at school or in church, and those who probably didn't sing them at all. The choices seemed very 'safe' - All Things Bright and Beautiful, and Onwards Christian Soldiers, yet the latter caused the chapel to go a little quiet....

As our soloist Kirsty sang through the verses, the problem became apparent - it's a very LOW hymn for ladies (and some gents), gravelling around on bottom Cs at the start of the repeated chorus. As a mezzo with a good bottom (if you pardon the expression), Kirsty had no problem, but it reminded us that sometimes a higher key might suit a congregation of mixed ages, where those who don't know it need to be able to grasp the tune quickly, and then sing it.

However, it wasn't the hymns that finally let the mourners find their voices, it was the inspired choice of a medley of the deceased's favourite songs at the end of the service, starting with the music hall classic "Enery the Eight I Am".

It was a fantastic moment when the entire chapel burst into song, word perfect, and smiles and tears of remembered happinesses breaking out all round. It was definitely one of the best moments in a funeral we've seen, and a classic example of how the right choice of music can send a congregation home with a smile.

And the family were pleased too:

"Just a short note to say a very, very big thank you. The service that you provided was excellent, and all the family were so happy with the singing, and your professionalism."

One of the great pleasures of attending so many funerals as a singer is that you get to experience a wide variety of service styles. While we can probably quote the standard crematorium service word for word by now, we are finding more and more that families are personalising the services with readings, poems, eulogies and, of course, their own choice of music, whether sung live or recorded.

As funeral historian Dr Julian Litten noted in a recent report*
"The funeral is our one opportunity to publicly express our individuality. … In today’s multi-cultural and increasingly secular society, new trends are constantly being added to our established customs. This is to be welcomed, for it is in this way that these traditions are allowed to develop."

At Singers for Funerals, we're happy to sing any music that's suitable for a classically trained or theatre-trained voice, sung without microphone. We are just as happy singing "My Way" as "Ave Maria" or "You Raise Me Up", and often we can suggest music that tie in with people's hobbies or interests. We're also quite honest about what we don't do; we always say that if your loved one loved Freddie Mercury or Frank Sinatra, play a cd. If, however, they loved the song "My Way", why not have it sung live, for a special touch.


* "The Ways We Say Goodbye: A study of 21st century funeral customs in the UK" published by Co-operative Funeralcare. http://www.co-operativefuneralcare.co.uk